Hamburgers vs Tomatoes
by Mi-chan7879
Summary: When Romano bets him hamburgers against tomatoes that no one would voluntarily hang out with him, America is sure he'll win.  After all, everyone loves the hero... don't they?  Maybe America isn't so sure after all.  No yaoi, rated for Romano's mouth.


Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I only get my history lessons from it. :-)

A/N: This just kind of came to me when I was thinking about how England was even wilder than America when he was younger, and probably didn't mind as much as he pretended. Hope you enjoy! I love reviews! :-)

**OoOoOoO**

"_Damn_ it, you hamburger bastard!" Romano exploded at America as soon as the world meeting was over. "Why the hell do you have to take so long talking about your stupid ideas? No one even wants to hear them!"

America winced a little. "Hey, Romano, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make you miss your turn. But it was really important, and they said you could go first tomorrow."

"Your ideas are _never_ important, you bastard, they're always completely moronic! And you're loud, and rude, and obnoxious, and don't pay attention to anyone's feelings and—damn it, this is _why_ no one likes you!"

"Wha—? Yeah, they do. I've got a lot of friends."

"Tch," Romano hissed. "You're that stupid you don't even realize?"

"What do you mean?" America asked.

"Read the atmosphere, you moron!" Romano shouted. America started to say he would if England would just lend him the book, but Romano wasn't finished. "Haven't you ever noticed that _no one_ wants to hang out with you?"

"But… they do all the time…."

"Yeah, because you practically _force_ them. No one's gonna turn down an invitation from America, who _knows_ what could happen? You're so high-handed, people are afraid of you! They don't actually _want_ to!"

"That's… not true…." America said, beginning to feel really hurt.

"Oh yeah? When's the last time someone invited _you_ to something?"

America's mind went blank, and he started to think back. "I… well, I… don't remember, because I wasn't paying attention."

"Tch, moron," Romano said. "_Start_ paying attention, then! I'll bet you if you go this whole two weeks without inviting anyone to lunch, you'll eat alone _every single time._"

"Hey… Romano…."

"Come on, if everyone likes you so much, bet me! Three bags of hamburgers for three bags of tomatoes!"

"Fine!" America said. He would show Romano. He was the hero, after all, and everyone liked the hero… didn't they?

…

Days passed. The first few days, America didn't really think anything of it. After all, the nations did tend to have their own cliques, and Canada and France had been hanging out lately since Canada wanted to brush up on his French. No one got lunch invitations every day. Still, his cheeseburgers didn't taste nearly as good without someone sitting across from him, perhaps England calling him a git and telling him he would get fat if he kept eating so many burgers.

By four days into it, America was starting to get worried. The worst was that Romano seemed to realize no one had asked him yet, and smirked at him whenever he saw him.

After a week, he went to Romano in desperation. "Hey, come on, man," he protested. "People are used to me inviting them to things. They're probably just not thinking about it. Maybe they're shy. This is stupid."

Romano raised his eyebrows and smirked again. "Aww, is the poor little 'hero' finally realizing he doesn't have any friends?"

"I do!" America said, starting to feel slightly hopeless. "You… you'll see." He walked away into the now empty meeting room, and got his things to go eat by himself… again. He wondered if this was how Canada felt, and whether it was worse to be forgotten or hated.

**OoOoOoO**

England was beginning to wonder if America was angry with him. This was the first world meeting in years that America hadn't dragged him off to lunch during their break at least every other day. It had been rather a relief at first, since England could eat decent food for once, but now he was starting to get worried. It was now the tenth day of their meeting, and America seemed to be getting quieter with every session. Even his "heroic" speeches had lessened in their vigour over the last few days.

So England watched America at the meeting, and saw rather to his shock that America wasn't talking to _anyone_. He was sitting quietly, and not even smiling. He seemed to be lost in thought. It even took a moment for him to collect himself before going up to speak, and he finished _before_ his time was up. On his way back, England managed to catch his eye, and tried to give him an encouraging smile, but America only looked confused, glanced around as though he thought England might be smiling at someone else, and sat back down.

When Germany called lunch, England waited to see who America was going to lunch with, but he didn't seem to be going with anyone. Alright, then. "America?" he said.

America jumped. "Hey, Iggy," he said, putting on his "hero" smile. "You startled me. What's up?"

"I wondered if you wanted to go to lunch together."

America's eyes widened, and he broke into a grin. "Seriously? Heck, yeah! Where do you want to go?"

England was slightly surprised by this level of enthusiasm. True, America was usually enthusiastic, but still…. "I… don't know, I suppose we could go to MacDonald's."

"Really? Iggy, you're the best!" He threw an arm around England's shoulders and headed for the door, a bit fast, but England didn't really mind terribly.

"You _could_ show you're appreciation by _not calling me that_," he pointed out, but with less hostility than usual.

"Aww, you know you like it."

"I do _not_, you git."

America laughed. "Should we take my car?"

"Mine," England said firmly. "We're in Japan."*

"Hey, I've managed this last week or so," America complained.

"Everyone let _you_ drive?" England asked, wondering whether they were insane.

"Every—? Oh… no, I went by myself."

England blinked and unlocked the car door so America could get in. "What, this whole time?"

"Yeah." His voiced sounded curiously neutral.

"Why? You might have asked me."

America shrugged, not looking at him. "Didn't want to bother you."

Very confused now, England drove to the nearest MacDonald's, and he watched to see what America ordered. Two double cheeseburgers, a large fry, and a large coca-cola. That seemed… awfully small, considering it was America. "Are you not hungry?" England asked.

"Huh? I'm fine. What do you want?"

"Oh, it's fine, I'll order myself."

"No, my treat. Besides, my Japanese is better than yours."

"Oh… very well, a chicken sandwich and a yogurt, I suppose. And hot tea."

"Okay, you want to find us seats?"

"Alright." England found them a window seat with a somewhat pleasant view and sat down. Presently, America came along with their meals.

"Hey, thanks for coming with me," America said when he'd sat down.

England cocked an amused eyebrow at him. "I invited you."

"Yeah, that too. How've you been?"

England chatted a bit about his house and garden, and how he was glad the weather was finally getting warmer, all the while watching America with a corner of his mind. He was eating rather slowly. "Are you all right, love?" he asked at last.

"Hmm?" America asked with his mouth full. He swallowed. "I'm fine."

"You seem a bit…." England reached over and touched his forehead, startling him.

America gave a laugh. "Really, Iggy, I'm fine."

"Well, you're not sick," England said. "But you seem rather quiet lately. And you're not eating as much as you usually do."

"Oh…." America's smile faltered a bit. "Did you… invite me to lunch because you were worried about me? Sorry about that… I'm fine, really."

"Well… partly," England said. "But we normally do spend time together during world meetings, and I missed your company."

America looked at his food. "You don't even like McDonald's."

"It's all right once in a while," England replied. "Not every day, of course, but I rather resign myself to MacDonald's during world meetings."

"Resign yourself, huh?" America was still smiling, a little, but he wasn't looking at England.

England began to feel quite worried. He had almost never seen America so depressed, and he suspected that, as impossible as it seemed, his former charge was feeling lonely and insecure. "America, love, please tell me what's wrong. You don't need to hide anything from me."

America looked at him doubtfully. "You… I mean…." He sighed. "You don't need to lie to make me feel better."

England's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "What do you think I'm lying about, now?"

"That you missed me." America paused. "It's okay… I guess… Romano was right. No one wants to be around me."

England stared at him. "What? How did this come up? Romano is always saying things like that to everyone, even his own brother."

"But it's true," America said. There was no trace of a smile on his face now, and his food seemed to be forgotten, which was truly alarming. "He bet me no one would invite me to lunch if I didn't extend the invitation first, and—"

"Well he was wrong, then. I did."

"Yeah, but only because you were worried about me. I mean, don't get me wrong… I'm really grateful. I just… I guess… I thought…." He sighed. "England… you'll be honest with me, right? You always are. Am I really that repulsive?"

England sat back in his seat, completely taken aback, and rather angry with Romano for forcing America to read the situation in a way that was bound to bring him down. He really didn't know what to say. It was true, after all, that there were a number of nations that really did not care for his young former colony. But then, they hadn't really cared for _him_ either, when he was an empire, and America was quite a lot nicer than he had been. Really, they didn't care much for England now. He wondered in an absent sort of way whether he ought to have let Finland raise America after all. Nobody seemed to mind Finland.

"Geez, is it that bad you can't even say it?" America asked, slumping further into his seat.

"I'm thinking," England replied. "I wouldn't say you're repulsive."

"But…?"

England sighed. "Well, it is a general rule that less powerful countries do not tend to like superpowers very much, partly because they are jealous, and partly because they can often be affected negatively by things superpowers do not think about. I… I do think you can be painfully unaware of the affects your words and actions have on other countries a great deal of the time. You are rather young, still, and your ideas do tend to be a bit impractical. I suppose it is somewhat galling to the older nations when you act on your own and refuse to listen properly to others' objections. How did Greece put it… that you are like a puppy with large teeth."**

America sighed a little.

"I… I don't think most of us believe you _intentionally_ cause problems. It's just… well… but I mean, if it makes you feel better, they completely despised me for centuries when I was a superpower, and I was quite a lot worse than you are. At least you care about other countries, which does make them more willing to tolerate you."

"But not _like_ me," America said.

"I think some do."

"Then why don't I get invited anywhere? I'm always visiting and asking people to visit, but…."

"Well…." England chose his words carefully. "You are… a bit… overwhelming at times. Perhaps most of the time. As I said, most of the nations are older and a bit more settled. You're quite energetic, and… well… rather loud, and not particularly good at reading the atmosphere."

"If someone would just lend me the stupid book—"

"America, it isn't a book, it's looking at the situation and seeing yourself the way others see you."

America didn't say anything.

"I think it may be… intimidating for some people… and perhaps a bit obnoxious to others. They do generally try to act dignified, and… well… you don't. Not really."

America was silent for nearly a full minute.

"But… you know," England said, wondering if he could possibly recover this situation, "I certainly wouldn't say none of the countries like you. _I_ like you a great deal, and I'm sure your brother feels the same. Japan… well, it's difficult to tell with him, but he certainly finds you interesting to say the least. France probably likes you… he did give you that bloody statue, after all."

"Canada always has people pick on him because of me," America said. "Or forget he exists because of me."

"But he always has your back."

"I suppose." He sighed. "Iggy… every single time I come visit you, you act like it's an enormous inconvenience. You said it yourself… I'm loud and obnoxious, and you like quiet."

England thought for a moment. This might take a bit of explaining. And was perhaps slightly embarrassing. "Yes," he said slowly. "In a way."

"In a way?"

Feeling he might end up regretting this, England decided to just tell him the truth. "It is true that I'm getting older, and I do like things quiet and peaceful. My ideal way to spend the day would probably include reading, gardening, and perhaps taking a quiet walk in the park or along the Thames. You blow all that to pieces every time you visit, so I don't generally desire your company." He paused. "But… I nearly always enjoy it."

America looked up, looking confused but perhaps a bit hopeful. "I don't get it."

England chuckled a little. "I was a pirate, you know," he said. "Did you think I spent my days on board my ship gardening and drinking tea?"

America still looked confused.

"I suppose now we've all settled down, and I do try to be a gentleman, but I was quite wild in my youth… rather a delinquent, really. My days were filled with excitement, and danger, and the general thrill that came from living on the high seas. It was always one adventure after another, and I had the company of my shipmates who were as wild and free as I was… and I rather miss those days, to be completely honest. I don't know that I have quite the energy I did back then, and I'm constrained by societal expectations, of course, but when I spend time with you… it's a bit like being back on board my old ship. One adventure after another. Rather thrilling, really. And I'm usually quite pleased that you've thought of me."

America had been staring at him, but now he began to smile, just a little. "But then why do you make such a fuss about it?"

"Oh, well…." England blushed a little. "I do have a reputation to keep, after all. I can't go gallivanting off with you on whatever crazy adventure you've thought up without at least _pretending_ I don't want to. And it is jarring to have my plans suddenly upset, but… all in all…." He shrugged. "For all your silliness, I consider you one of my best friends, perhaps the very best, and my life would be awfully bleak and boring without you coming to stir things up now and again and remind me of my glory days. And I wouldn't want you to change too much, either. Really, although you do still have some growing up to do, I find your spirit quite admirable."

America considered him quietly for a few moments. "Do you mean it?" he asked.

"With all my heart."

America smiled a real smile, then, and looked really touched. "Thanks, Iggy."

"Now eat your food, you git, or it will be too cold."

The "git" laughed. "No way, Iggy," he said. "Cold cheeseburgers are the best!"

"That's completely disgusting," England replied, causing America to laugh again, and dig into his burger. "I could try to help you get along with the other nations, if you'd like."

America swallowed his bite. "Well, I'll remember what you said they think… but, well… if _you_ like me, I'm not as worried about what everyone else thinks."

"Oh, really?"

"Yaff," America said with his mouth full. He swallowed again. "Because you're my favorite!"

Now it was England's turn to smile and be touched. He chuckled. "Well it's good of you to say so," he said. Though it really had been rather obvious over the last several years. "But don't talk with your mouth full."

At length, they returned to the conference, and England was about to take his seat, when America stopped him by putting an arm around him. "Ro-ma-no," he said in a sing-song voice.

Romano stopped on his way back to his seat and glared at America.

"Hamburgers," America said, smugly. "Three bags." He held out three finger for emphasis.

England was completely confused until he remembered that America had mentioned Romano betting him. Had hamburgers been the terms? He gave a smile of his own that caused Romano to go red with anger and shout, "Damn it!" before returning to his seat.

England took his seat next to America and shook his head. "You are incorrigible."

America just grinned and turned his attention to the resumed meeting.

**OoOoOoO**

A/N:

* In Japan, the roads are the same as in England, with people driving on the left side of the road.

** This is a quote from someone I was talking to when I was in Greece, who said that it was the general opinion of Greek people regarding the American government. Hate to admit it, but even being American, I saw their point a little.

Hope you enjoyed it! :-)


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